alex the girl

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< December 2004 | Main | February 2005 >

January 31, 2005

This afternoon I went to the producer's home office to do some work and after a little while, there was a ring at the gate. It was a girl scout selling cookies. After pre-ordering a box and speaking with her, I realised she was from next door and that I had just ordered cookies from Steven Spielberg's daughter.

What is strange about this event is how unstrange it really was. It wasn't surreal, or odd, or anything other than ordinary. Being here and all the events that are going on are much more normal than one would ever think.

< December 2004 | Main | February 2005 >

January 26, 2005

It's been a slightly traumatising morning as my cat of eight years, Grace (who can fetch, play hide and seek, understands commands and crosses her paws when she sits all ladylike), is very, very ill.

I rushed her to one vet where I got really bad vibes from the office staff and vet and felt terribly uncomfortable with the chaos that was going on, the coldness/grumpiness of the staff, the way things were handled (taking Grace back to a cage and not letting me be there during the exam) and the rush to totally medicate and do surgery right away.

There were a lot of things that I was uneasy with so I listened to the sign and asked to have Grace removed from the back room cages (since they wouldn't even let me hold her or see her), removed her from that office and rushed her to another. The second vet has turned out to be amazing and soothing to all of us (this reenforced the notion that one really ought to listen to their gut instincts and not apologise for walking away from someone/something that they're less than comfortable with).

Currently, Grace is hooked while they hydrate her and do a little surgery. She'll be there for a couple of days while I sit at home trying to move forward with errands, bill paying and preparing for a new work project that begins tomorrow. But it's hard. The worry, the helpless feeling, well, at moments it's a little too much.

So, all I can do right now is have some hope, drink some tea and continue to do what I can. Everyone gets through everything, even though the process might be trying.

< December 2004 | Main | February 2005 >

January 25, 2005

Since moving into my flat on the 7th, I've been go, go, go every day. New place here, new place there, do this chore, that one, get this, get that. I was literally running myself down by doing so much. Yet I couldn't slow down because there was so much to do and I was loving all that I was doing. But my body and sanity required that I figure out a way to somehow relax even if I just had 15minutes a day to do so.

So when Mary Catherine and I decided to have a power meeting last week to go over our project, I decided to combine a writing assignment with our business meeting by having Afternoon Tea at the fabulous Hotel Bel-Air. For several hours we sipped tea, ate little sandwhiches and worked our asses off. The atmosphere was beautiful and quiet and although we were working hard, the surroundings and the event itself made it all very relaxing.

This week has already started with a bang; so much work to do and emails to catch up on. By noon this morning I had already been out doing so much and written up a list of to do's 4 pages long. I rang up Mary Catherine to see if she would keep me company this afternoon whilst running errands and while I waited for her I worked a couple of hours. By the time she arrived I was feeling tired and drained, knowing that if I didn't take a break, I'd be useless and cranky.

Arriving at Robertson Blvd in Beverly Hills, she pointed out a restaurant, The Ivy, which she had heard was a great little spot for breaking. I asked her if she'd mind stopping in to grab a little somethin' somethin' before we started doing all of the overwhelming bits. She said of course because we needed to both celebrate (we're both going to be starting new jobs) and take a moment to replenish.

We ended up spending a couple of hours just sipping our latte's and sharing a spectacular peice of White Chocolate Lemon Cake with berries (for celebration purposes of course), We dished, laughed and relaxed the entire time. By the end of it, I was feeling energised, excited and ready to go home and work some more. It was the break I needed during a very busy day.

I can't forsee a time when things will slow down - in fact the pace will most likely pick up between my new work, my projects, and building a home - so I have to find moments to rest, slow down, and enjoy during the craziness. Catching my breath is up to me and perhaps it will only be found in a cafe or during a meeting and last no more than an hour or two. But I need to look for or create little moments of relaxation and carefreeness instead of running myself up for months on end and hoping for a week long break some time in the future, only to crash before that can happen. There can't be extremes of either competely doing or not doing, there has to be balance.

< December 2004 | Main | February 2005 >

January 18, 2005

There's been a lot of questions about why I, a girl who adores simplicity, authenticity and a European lifestyle would move to L.A. - a place where everything seems to go against all that I write about. People have been wondering why I would make such a move and if it's because I'm now buying into some kind of lifestyle.

The truth is, I moved for two reasons: warmth/sun and for a creative career. Los Angeles seemed the best place. However, I too, had reservations about moving here because of everything I'd ever heard about the city (none of which was ever good).

But on a visit in September and another in December, I knew that for right now, I belonged here. Specifically Santa Monica.

In North America I have only ever lived in Vancouver BC, Banff AB, Seattle WA, Nashville TN and Lexington KY and only the last 6 years in America. So when I compare, this is what I compare against. But from my experiences, LA/Santa Monica is by far the best place. Seattle was the most judgmental city I've ever been to in my entire life. There's a certain kind of person that is supposed to live there (and loves it) and if you don't fit into that, there's something wrong. People judged you by how you dressed, I received more dirty looks from women than I can count and being different (even just by wearing something besides navy) made you an outsider. The weather? Crap. The city itself, crap. Jobs? Crap. I was so unhappy in that city, it wasn't for me despite many, many efforts.

Canada, though nice on a lot of levels, always felt very limiting to me by the fact that taxation is so high and the red tape for companies even higher. Jobs there are limiting and jobs in the entertainment field even more so now due to the Canadian dollar rising and Arnold wanting companies to film in California. Vancouver, once a favourite city, has turned out to me, at least, to be very uncomfortable, too hip, too trying. It also seems as though it has a cap on what you can do and right now I want to break through the roof on so many levels.

When I first came to LA, the first thing I noticed was that nobody cared what I was wearing or doing. The staring that was so often done in the pacific northwest was not done here. No one asked where I was from, people weren't bitter or even stupid. In fact, people here are the most genuinely friendly, helpful people I've ever met. In the two weeks I've lived here, I've met more people who have honestly helped me than I did anywhere else. And everyone I've made friends with are truly authentic, creative, helpful, kind people - none of whom are in the entertainment business. Most are artists but a lot have regular office jobs. A nice mix instead of only knowing computer people or corporate managers.

In Santa Monica, there's a farmers market three times a week which would rival any in Provence. The streets are lined with small cafes that serve very good food and a very reasonable price and the best part? Just like in Europe they expect no turnover which means you can linger for as long as you like. No waiters trying to be your friend or bitter because they have to work. Everyone seems to take their job a little more seriously here (which is surprising because a lot of peoples "day jobs" are not what they really want to do) which makes for better service.

The sunshine is amazing - it's currently 80F/25C. People are relaxed, happy, and casual. Yes, people are attractive here but it's in a very natural European way (in fact, there are more Europeans here than in any other city I've lived in outside of Europe). I've seen more naturally pretty women here than anywhere else - ones with simple hair, makeup and clothes. But everyone seems put together. No slop.

I live in Santa Monica and must confess to spending most of my time here. I've been up to Pasadena, spent time in Beverly Hills, West Hollywood and Long Beach and there it's probably more "LA." But for me, Santa Monica feels so European - it feels like what Vancouver's West End used to be like before it got all "cool" and in my opinion, lost a lot of that genuine feeling.

The downsides for me is that it's very, very expensive. My rent has tripled and I live in a 700sf one bedroom without the usual ameneties and when moving I had to pay first months, last months and a pet deposit which equaled one months rent, my auto and home insurance increased, water/gas/electric/internet all went up as well and a lot of general services cost more. I moved with literally no furniture and have been holding off on repurchasing several things to do a lot of stores costing more here (so far, just the bed has been done but no frame yet). Gas is more and one tends to use more of it. I saved every penny for months before moving and have used up all my savings to be here - and there's still more costs involved like switching car registration, licensing, parking permits and so forth. So financially, it's been a challenge but I believe that the outcome will be worth it and that I will have more oppurtunities to create more money here than where I lived previously.

Will I live here forever? Most likely not. I still wish to move back to France and set up shop there but that's not for years to come. Right now, I'm just so thrilled to be here - something I never expected I'd say. The possibilities are endless. Any job you can dream up you can have. Any place you want to go to is here. Or, if you just wish to hang out at a beach and quietly have a little picnic you can do that - even in January.

Stereotypes come from somewhere and there are jerks here like everywhere else. There's the hustlers, the women with very large breasts and actors on every street corner. But L.A. is such a massive, massive place (it's unlike any major city I've ever been to including London and Paris) that there's little pockets of amazingness everywhere.

And I feel like I fit in perfectly here - Santa Monica specifically - without having to change one bit. In fact, I'm more myself than ever before.

< December 2004 | Main | February 2005 >

January 16, 2005

Age 5

Although I was only five, I can still recall the nights my mum sat up to make this dress for my first school photo. I remember the trying on, petting the fabric and the twirling that took place once it went on. The whole outfit perhaps cost $10 but I promise you when I slipped it on I felt like a million bucks.

I have no idea of the reaction to how I looked, if it's what others wore at that time or if I stood out. All I remember is how I felt, which was good. I was happy with just that one dress for a long, long time.

It's a comfort to know that some things never change.

< December 2004 | Main | February 2005 >

January 11, 2005

Whilst walking around town today, there were a few instances where people were pointing at me or acknowledging me in a weird way. I couldn't for the life of me understand as since moving here, I've been able to be pretty invisable (in Seattle, people often stared at me because I was in neither flannel or black).

On one street it became particularily bad when I could hear a group of teenage girls behind me whispering, there she is! quick catch up! oh my god!. I felt a tap on my shoulder and when I turned around there were several excited girl faces which quickly turned to dissapointment.

"Oh," one said, "you're not her."

A couple of other people made comments but no one said anything which peaked my interest. Just who do I look like? I've got no idea but it leads me to think if I could find out, I could maybe have a career as a stand in here...

< December 2004 | Main | February 2005 >

January 11, 2005

After two weeks of non-stop storms and record rains, the sun came out and I decided to make use of it since I have not been able to wander since moving here.

Being close to the charming Montana Street here in Santa Monica has it's benefits - a quick walk and I was sipping tea to fight of the forceful winds that were taking down palm trees everywhere. A little walk more and I was in a paper store picking out note cards of thanks. A block or two more and I found myself at the most wonderful store, House Inc, where I will purchase a set of bedding once I can wade through the sample fabrics I was given.

Coming home, the flowers were clinging for dear life on the tree but welcomed me just the same. And once inside the flat, I was relaxed, calm, and for the first time in a year, so very happy and hopeful.

So far as I can tell, I am home. Though I still have the lingering want to move back to France (and know I will eventually), I think I have found a place that fits me and a place where I feel like I belong (no one seems to judge or care who you are here, so many friendly people and lots of please and thank-yous. Plus sun!). It makes all the terrifying moments, the uncertaintity of moving and all the fear I had about it all so worth it when I wake up each day and welcome it instead of wanting to climb under the covers because I don't understand the point of getting out.

Now, instead of wondering what life would be like if I kicked my own ass, I know. And it's really enforced in me that there's no such thing as failure, just experience. Oh things aren't all settled nor easy but being OK with the process, the waiting, the figuring makes it all a bit easier. Making once good choice always leads to others.

Here's to making more.

< December 2004 | Main | February 2005 >

January 10, 2005

With purchasing for the home, slow and well done is the motto. Rather than buying, I look at investing and therefore purchasing things that will not have to be replaced for many, many years. So instead of buying something just because, or picking up the cheapest that will surely break, I'm buying the best I can so that instead of thinking about home and what doesn't work and what needs to be done, I can concentrate on enjoying it and other things outside.

For example, the bed. After much deliberation (I rang the Four Seasons LA who said they were no longer selling the Sealy's due to getting new ones not available for 8 weeks) and four horrible mattress shops (it felt sleazier than car shopping), a Tempurpedic Bed from Relax the Back was bought (with 10% off if you have medical reasons). I'd always received really good care from that store and a call to the Chiropracter reveiled this would be an excellent choice. What sold me was the 25 year warrenty and a 90 day return policy without stocking fee. Now, I do not have to worry about the mattress.

Then, there was linens. Oh how I'd always wanted a fluffy bed like at the fabulous hotels. Something calm, serene but no frou or girliness. I'd always adored the duvet covers and inserts from Shabby Chic but would never justify the price. So instead, I purchased things that seemed like it - things that wore too quick, were stuffy, had no fluff, look crap and cheap and made me always search for something better.

I decided to stop this pattern and yesterday I spent a couple of hours in the shop, asking questions, getting help, feeling served and educated and purchased a duvet insert (which, I must confess is the most glorius insert ever), a zippered duvet cover in serenity white rose, two Euro pillows (36X36, fluffy and only $20!), matching shams and one king size pillow for me. Now, when I walk into the bedroom I cannot wait to jump into the pile of down. It looks so amazing, it feels even better and now it's one thing I can cross off my list of thoughts for years to come. I have freed myself from bed worries.

The same goes for a Herman Miller Chair that I'll be ordering. I've gone through so many office chairs that have chipped, bent, stopped working, warped and just generally become rather gross. So instead of replacing every year I'm investing in the best I can get (this was inspired by staying at the fabulous Swirly's house for all of last week who had the very chair. I thought it was brand new but it was 8 years old!). On a trip to their showroom in L.A., I went up the secret elevator, was greeted by a personal sales assistant who explained all the chairs, what it could do, fitted me and then wrote up a proposal. With a 25 year warrenty combined with everything else, it seems like money well spent.

I'm going to do this with pots and pans and a couch. I don't need to do this with a desk, a tv cabinet, rugs and whatever else because that's all decor to me (and I'll be doing a go at the famed Santa Monica Antique Market & Long Beach Outdoor Market later this month for a browse of second-hand goods). I just want basics that will last. No more disposable. No more worrying.

Although I've wanted to do this for a long time, purging everything last year and moving into the current flat has been the biggest push. Living without furnature and things for over two months really made me realise what I do and do not need and where I really want to put my money.

My new home, though small, is so beautiful, charming and light that I don't want to gauk it up with junk and impulse buys. I'm taking the time to research things and purchase what is really good for me. And it's the most relaxing what to setup home that I can think of. Because once it's all set up, it's set. No worrying about repeating next year or the year after.

< December 2004 | Main | February 2005 >

January 09, 2005

Although I adore a good lipgloss and a pretty light eyeshadow, I'm not really a girl who wears makeup. Oh I could tell you the tricks of the trade and what brand is what but I've always been rather terrible when it comes to painting up myself. In fact, when I wear makeup I tend to feel more ugly than without because I look less like me and more like a sad version of someone else.

But with so much stress, bad sleeps and eating habits and being rather lazy about washing up at night, my skin which was so often so very good became a horrible mess. I felt as though I were 16 with no end in site.

Instead of changing the bad habits (some couldn't be changed due to everything going on), I began to cover up each spot and blemish that'd appear.

No one can see red! I'd think. No one can see a blemish either! and so on the makeup would go. And on, and on. In fact, it became a daily habit that if there wasn't makeup applied, I'd feel worse than any redness could make me feel.

But the problem was, the makeup was terrible and I knew it. It made everything look worse. But somehow, that little tin of makeup became some sort of safety blanket despite the fact that it was far worse than anything natural.

I had made an appointment at the Ole Henriksen Day Spa in West Hollywood for a day of pampering. A late Christmas present to help get rid of the stress of all the moves, of the travel, of the relocating. It was a cleansing of sorts to get rid of the old and start with better habits.

And whilst sitting in my robe drinking fabulous tea or sitting in the tub drinking in refreshing water, I realised that I had to come clean on so many levels - inside and out.

After the massage and srubbing I went in for a facial and thank god I had a fabulous facialist who knew exactly what to do and why everything was going on. All the things she told me to do were habits I used to have before the chaos of the move. She fixed me up and then after asked if I wore makeup but then quickly said, "No, of course you don't" because she understood that where I'm from, the women tend to really not cover things up or change themselves. They stay pretty clean.

Afterwards I walked out of the salon with a bare face and I felt better than I had in months. In fact, I thought I was even a little bit cute. And when I headed out for supper later on, I had no worries because I think the twinkle in my eye from feeling good and not worrying outshone any red blemish that appeared anywhere.

< December 2004 | Main | February 2005 >

January 07, 2005

Today, January 7th, seven years on the day we first met, we finally moved into our 7th home - apartment 7. I am hoping that seven is a lucky number. It certainly feels like it.

< December 2004 | Main | February 2005 >

January 05, 2005

This year marks my 10th anniversary as having a web site. Oh the dish I could tell, the strange way I've grown with it and changed it and expanded to having far too many sites (with a couple more to come). It's been strange to have a site for so long, to chronicle life and stories before "blog" was a word.

The main goal of having a site, however, has not changed. It's to be of use; of sharing information, stories or ideas that perhaps someone else would like to know. It's been less about me and more about things going on around me.

That's why I generally do not have comments expect for posts in which others can share information that's a benefit to people outside of just myself. Sharing is a good thing if it's more than about bowel movements.

Sometimes I'm a rock star at this and sometimes I am very dull indeed and cannot stand to look at my own site. But, it's always nice to have the option, I suppose.

So, a little celebrating is in order, I think. After all, this is the longest I've ever done one thing consistantly.

< December 2004 | Main | February 2005 >

January 04, 2005

A powerful storm from Alaska battered Southern California on Monday, and boosted the season's rainfall total in Los Angeles to almost four times normal. By Monday night, the storm had dumped as much as 5 inches of rain on Southern California, and forecasters said that figure could double by tonight.

Flash-flood watches and winter storm warnings were issued throughout the Southland, as forecasters said the cold and rainy weather should linger through today, slackening only briefly before another storm front moves into California late this week. - from the L.A. Times

The top reason to leave Seattle for Santa Monica was for sun and warmth. I'd enough of the everlasting dark, gloomy clouds that made me drink far too much coffee and had me wearing 6 layers of heavy, dark clothes. But since arriving here, I've been having coffee everyday and wishing I hadn't packed my dark, heavy clothes. I'm beginning to think this sunshine business is a myth.

There has to be humour in this somewhere.

< December 2004 | Main | February 2005 >

January 03, 2005

The idea of selling off everything in the old flat and buying new sounded simply marvellous. But put into practice it's been more overwhelming than fun.

So many products, lines, slight differences, price ranges. I've google'd and eopinion'ed out everything and I'm still no better than before.

Things I need to purchase:

* Bed frame (simple wooden slat frame, perhaps an organic one from Life Kind)
* Couch (Found one I think I like from Cozi Couch in Santa Monica & Santa Barbara. All slipcovered with down cushions! And on sale!)
* Desk for a home office
* Table for tea parties.
* Table for my art (everyone should have their own private space/table)
* Closet organisation since I do not wish to purchase drawers or chests (Looking at the Elfa system from the Container Store as they seem really sturdy, they help you design and it's all on sale during January)
* All kitchenware including cookware, storage, dinnerware, utensils etc.
* Linens for the bed (either going totally organic from Gaiam or going totally deluxe. I'm a sucker for a high thread count)
* Vacuum for hardwood floors
* 8X10 area rug for living room

I move into the flat Wednesday night but won't move my bits until the weekend. This will give me probably too much time to analyse the flat, the space and measurements. It's a goal of mine to plan a bit more than I've ever done to avoid over-buying and overspending, not to mention buying things that really don't fit. I want to get as little as possible but really brilliant things.

< December 2004 | Main | February 2005 >

January 02, 2005

It has been such an overwhelming week which has involved being in a different place almost every night, being far grubbier than one would like and mixing discomort with great joy and excitement.

So when I woke this morning I felt the need for a little comfort and with Montana Ave just outside my steps, I headed there for a little Sunday brunch.

Provence Cafe on 16th/Montana is run by two Frenchman who make the most delicious food. It was so nice to be able to speak french again and enjoy a restaurant where the portions did not frighten the bejesus out of me.

Due to an overwhelming amount of hard, cold rain I didn't wander the street as I wanted but I did manage to head down to the original Shabby Chic store where I fell in-love with the bean couch, a duvet, a rug and an oil lamp. I left with nothing, however. I'm a terrible shopper - loving to pet the pretty things but hating to bring packages home.

Mary Catherine rang to ask if I was up to some Anthropologie lovin', which of course, I was. We found ourselves walking tghe 3rd street promenade but had it cut short due to torrential rains. We were literally soaked to the bone by the time we headed to the store. Luckily, being amongst the pretty things and trying on a skirt or two was soothing.

However, the rain left us cold and hungry so we made our way back to Montana ave and walked into the Montana Ave Cafe. The atmosphere seemed rather cosy yet busy but also welcoming to people who were rather shabby from weather.

The food, oh so divine (vegitarian rolls, garden soup, swordfish, pumpkin pasta, buffala salad, and the most important key-lime pie) was oh so lovely and satisfying.

Despite the gloom of the rain and clouds, the day ended up being unexpectedly fantastic. Relaxing yet energising all at the same time.

This along with several conversations over dinner helped to re-enforce the idea that I need to enjoy it all now. To not be wondering how long the friendship will last, if I'll hate her or him in a month, if I'll grow to hate the city, if I'll fall for a french cafe only to have them go out of business in May. To not prepare for the worst but enjoy the beauty of the now.

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