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October 27, 2003

Today was such a Monday; bad and annoying in many ways. It got off to a bad start and just kept going. After a day of being out and dealing with the world, I came home completely dishevelled. Instead of trying to fight all that had happened, I just gave in. In fact, I crumpled.

Not wanting to cook dinner, talk to anyone or pay attention to anything I decided to do what anyone in my situation should do. I wallowed.

I popped the Blind Boys of Alabama CD in and let that become my soothing soundtrack for the night. I then decided to make my favourite butter cream double cake for dinner as the process of baking relaxes me; the measuring, the whipping, and the mixing by hand releases aggression. When I got to the last bit of making the butter cream pink, I was at ease (one always becomes rather at ease when pink is involved).

By the end of the CD, I had finished baking and several cups of sweet tea and somehow, things seemed better. Not perfect, not easy, just better.

Working things out, trying to be above, ignoring bad situations, these are all good things to do but sometimes, giving into the mess you feel like is also good, it helps you get over it. I always declare when I�m cranky as it tends to make it pass faster, just as it did tonight.