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Five years ago, I felt as though I was in a desperate situation; I had to leave the US and Chris while immigration processed and had fled to Canada to stay with friends. I was living in the middle of no where, with no car, no job, and no friends. Any money I made from odd chores went directly to the cost of immigration and long distance phone calls with my fiancé. I stayed with grumpy people in a mobile home without my belongings, my privacy or a life. My ass was so broke and I felt hopeless.

That is, until I went grocery shopping.

There were pre-packaged paper bags of food for charity in various amounts. I looked into my shabby little wallet and all I had to my name was literally a twenty dollar bill. Then my brain clicked and I picked up a ten dollar bag of food.

My friend who was grocery shopping looked at me with horror and said, "You don't have any money and you're going to spend what you have on that?"

"Yes," I said, "Because the people who will receive it need it more than I do."

She looked perplexed, wondering how could someone need ten dollars more than I did. So I explained it to her.

"You see, I have something these people might not have - hope. I understand that things are grim right now and that some days I spend my hours in a pitiful heap. But I also understand that life is made up of moments and moments don't last forever. Things are crap right now, but they won't always be like this. I understand that, but maybe some people don't. Maybe, by giving them food, I can give them hope."

She bought a ten dollar bag of food too.

I think of that conversation every year when I buy my bags of pre-packaged food during the holidays. Only this year I can buy four bags instead of just one, because I was right - that sad moment I had five years ago didn't last.