Everyday Words

June 17, 2001

The landlord announced that she was going to show our flat today at 1pm. I didn’t want to be around and hear somehow critique or gush at our apartment. In fact, I didn’t want to think of anyone living in my home.

So I decided that since it was a rare sunny warm day, I would walk to the bakery, grab a doughnut and sit at the beach for an hour and take a break.

At the beach, I unloaded my towel and laid on my stomach, my legs bent up at the knee. I had a book in one hand and in the other was the biggest doughnut ever.

Unaware of others around me, I enjoyed my break at the beach. But when I looked up, I noticed a girl of around twenty looking at me. I looked away but I could tell she was still staring at me. Finally, I couldn’t take it.

“What!?” I said to her.

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t know I was staring. I wasn’t staring at you or anything.” She said. She looked a little embarrassed then added, “Actually, I was staring at that doughnut. Is it good?”

Surprised, I answered with a grin, “It’s the best one I’ve had today.” She smiled back.

“You can get them at the bakery just across from here.” I said to her.

“Oh, no I don’t want one.” She replied.

“From the looks of it I’d say you do,” I said teasing back.

“I can’t have one. You know, a minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.”

“Well, that’s true if you act like a piece of lard you’re whole life and eat nothing but doughnuts. But one now and then won’t kill you, especially if you move your body everyday. Besides,” I continued, “it doesn’t look like you have anything to worry about.” And she didn’t. She was very slim with a gorgeous figure that her bright blue bikini showed off.

“Yeah well, it’s not that easy.” She said.

I thought for a moment and then said to her, “When I am on my deathbed, I think I will recall all the wonderful moments I spent being alive and all the great moments I lived. I’ll think if I had just a little more time, I’d want to enjoy just one moment more. I doubt if I’d worry that I was dying five pounds too much.”

She looked at me, nodded, and then we both went back to being in our own worlds.

I actually felt sorry for her. The struggles to feel pretty enough or thin enough are there almost any day for any woman. But I think when worrying about your weight or looks becomes a problem it’s because you lose focus on the big picture. Perhaps you lose focus because you’re bored, you’re not living, you’re stuck in a rut, you’re afraid. Whatever the reason sometimes you have to step away from yourself and take a hard look. And then you have to ask yourself what really matters.

In the scheme of things, what really matters.

On the way home, I stopped into the grocery store to stock up on some fruits. And when I left and started my walk home, I saw that girl come out of the Bakery with a doughnut in her hand and a smile on her face.

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